At Thy Own Pace
A dynamic life we live in is full of surprises. At one time, it will be only a slope and at the other, it can be a deep valley with no way out. Such situations and times are the hardest, but there are those where everything is at ease and those where we fly sky-high. The uncontrollable aspect of this life makes it hard to deal with. Just when we think we’ve got it all covered, something ‘kaboom’ed and then it all went down. How we react to it is influenced by our own perspective.
Once, we have probably thought to ourselves, “Everyone with a silver spoon in their mouth has it easy” or “My problem is bigger than yours.” This point of view where we highlight all the hinderers we had, they called it “headwinds-tailwinds asymmetry’ phenomenon. Headwind is a negative factor that could affect the growth of the individual, while tailwind is the exact opposite, a positive factor that helps the growth of the individual. We emphasize headwinds when our reality doesn’t meet our expectations. When we’re squeezed ahead of deadlines, while our colleagues are enjoying their time of leisure. Or when our peers are promoted, but we stay stagnant. Then we say, “Why is life so hard on me?!”.
But have we ever tried to put ourselves in their shoes? Or did we know all the struggles they have experienced to be where they are right now? Some may have a head start, some may have full support, and some may have none. This biased point of view will persist and leave us unsatisfied, no matter how many we have achieved. Because once we start to compare, our happiness and wellbeing will be the cost. When the negative thoughts rise up, there are only two choices, either accept or resist them. Accepting them enables us to disarm them, while resisting merely empowers them. This craving for something and this need to be fulfilled will haunt us unless we accept and control it.
As you see your reflection in the mirror, does the person you see feel content or not? As a human, we tend to look outside more than the inside. We fail to recognize that our person is enough. Each person has their own story and you have yours. Glimpses of neighbors’ greener grass don’t change the probability that your grass can be as green or even greener, if you put your effort in it.
What’s important is don’t ever lose faith in yourself. You may have just started to walk when everybody is already there. But your own progress matters. You walk at your own pace and you choose the path as you see fit.
Writer’s Profile:
Tan Rendy, an editor staff of Eka-citta and a student majoring in Biology at Universitas Gadjah Mada. Writer has interest for self development, nature, environmental, and biology related topics. A step closer to him is achieved by contacting him via email tanrendy@mail.ugm.ac.id or Instagram @trfvl.
Reference:
Kelly, J.D. IV MD, 2019, ‘Your Best Life: Managing Negative Thoughts—The Choice is Yours’, Clinical Orthopaedics and Related Research 477(6), 1291-1293, viewed on 16 March 2023, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6554130/
MacLellan, L., 2018, ‘Why Your Work Life is So Much Harder than Everyone else’s’, viewed 16 March 2023, from https://qz.com/work/1227052/how-to-be-happier-when-you-compare-how-easy-other-people-have-it